Why I’d Choose a Dusty Over a Brad (If I Had To Pick)

I was watching Daddy’s Home with my little one the other night, and something hit me. Here are these two completely different approaches to masculinity playing out on screen, and I found myself rooting for Dusty over Brad. Not because I’m some caveman-loving woman who thinks men should grunt and flex all day, but for reasons that run much deeper than surface-level attraction.

If you’ve seen the movie, you’re familiar with the setup. Brad is the sensitive, emotionally available stepdad who makes a genuine effort to connect. Dusty is the biological father – confident, protective, traditionally masculine. Most people watch this and think it’s just another alpha versus beta showdown. But I think we may be missing the real story.

It’s Not What You Think

Here’s what drew me to Dusty’s energy: he has this natural protective instinct that doesn’t need to be taught or reminded. When his family needs leadership, he steps up without overthinking it. There’s something deeply reassuring about a man who can assess a situation and act decisively. He’s not constantly seeking validation or needing everyone to like him – he’s grounded in who he is.

And yes, he’s willing to be the “bad guy” when boundaries need to be set. That matters more than we want to admit. Sometimes love looks like being firm, even when it’s unpopular.

But here’s where it gets interesting, and where my preference for Dusty really solidifies.

The Growth Factor

Watch what happens in Daddy’s Home 2. We meet both their fathers, and suddenly, everything falls into place. Dusty’s dad is that old-school, military-tough, emotionally unavailable type. You can see precisely where Dusty learned to be strong, but also where he missed out on emotional connection.

The beautiful thing? Dusty recognises this. He sees his father’s limitations and makes a conscious choice to do better. Throughout both films, you watch him integrate what he learned from Brad about emotional availability while keeping his core strength. He doesn’t throw out his protective instincts – he adds emotional intelligence to them.

That’s evolution. That’s a man doing the inner work to become more complete.

Where Brad Loses Me

Brad, on the other hand, shows no real growth. If anything, he becomes more neurotic and less effective in the sequel. He starts with good intentions – I’ll give him that. His emotional availability is genuine, and his love for the kids is real.

But he never recognises that some of what Dusty brings to the table has value. He doesn’t see that his children might benefit from witnessing decisive leadership or protective strength. He stays locked in his own approach, even when it’s clearly not working in certain situations.

Brad represents something I see in a lot of modern men – they’ve overcorrected so far away from toxic masculinity that they’ve thrown out healthy masculine traits too. The result? They end up less effective as partners and fathers, not more.

What This Means for Real Life

I’m not saying I want some hypermasculine guy who can’t express emotions. What draws me to Dusty’s archetype is the willingness to grow and integrate. The most attractive masculine energy isn’t raw strength OR just emotional availability – it’s the wisdom to recognise what you’re missing and the courage to develop it.

I want a man who can be tender when my heart needs healing and strong when my world feels chaotic—someone who doesn’t see these as contradictory qualities but as different tools for different moments.

Dusty shows me a man who can evolve. He takes the best of what Brad offers and adds it to his existing strengths. Brad, unfortunately, seems determined to stay exactly as he is, limitations and all.

The Bigger Truth

This isn’t about choosing sides in some cultural war about masculinity. It’s about preferring growth over stagnation. It’s about being drawn to someone willing to do the hard work of becoming a more complete human being.

If I had to choose between a man who starts strong but refuses to grow emotionally, versus a man who starts emotionally available but refuses to develop strength, I’d pick neither. But between Dusty and Brad? Give me the one who’s showing me he can change, learn, and become better than his own father.

That’s the kind of man worth building a life with. That’s the kind of father I wish I’d chosen for my children – but the lessons learned are what I can give them now. Not perfect from the start, but willing to keep growing into the man his family needs him to be.

And honestly? That willingness to evolve might be the most attractive quality of all.