What to Do When Someone Keeps Trying to Be You – Copycats and How to Deal with Them

When I was a kid, my dad used to play a song on the record player called “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better” by Ethel Merman and Howard Keel. It was catchy, playful, and a little over-the-top, with two voices competing to outdo each other at every turn. Little did I know then how much this song would ring true in adult life, especially when dealing with people who want to be more than just inspired by us – they want to outdo us or even become us. So how do we handle copycats and protect our unique identity? Let’s dive in.

If you’ve ever had a friend or someone close who went from admiring you to seeming like they were constantly trying to match or even become you, it can feel a lot like that song. Only this time, it’s not a friendly duet. At first, it might feel flattering to see someone look up to you, but it quickly turns uncomfortable when they start mirroring your style, your words, or even your interests. It’s as if they’re striving to capture something about you that they wish they had for themselves – that certain aura or spark that only YOU have.

But here’s the thing: no matter how closely someone tries to imitate you, they’ll never capture what makes you YOU. No one can replicate the unique combination of personality, experience, and energy that you bring to the world. In this post, we’ll talk about how to handle these situations gracefully, set boundaries, and stay true to our own identity – because, in the end, no one can do you better than you.

Why Do People Copy Us?

First things first: it helps to understand why someone might be copying us. When people start imitating others, it often has more to do with what’s going on inside them than anything we’re doing. Here are some of the most common reasons people become “copycats”:

1. Insecurity – People who lack confidence in themselves sometimes look to others for direction, hoping that by copying someone they admire, they’ll feel better about themselves.
2. Admiration – Some people genuinely admire qualities in others, like confidence, style, or social ease, and think that by adopting these qualities, they’ll feel that same power.
3. A Desire to Fit In – Sometimes people mimic others because they’re trying to connect and feel like they belong.
4. Competition – Imitation can also stem from wanting to “keep up” with someone as if they’re competing for the same space.
5. Validation – Some people feel validated when they reflect on the traits or successes of others; they want to be seen as similar because they think it will give them worth.

While knowing these reasons doesn’t make it less uncomfortable for us, it can help us approach the situation with a little more understanding. Sometimes, the first step in handling a copycat is simply realising that their behaviour is a reflection of what they’re dealing with internally.

How to Recognise a Copycat

Not every instance of copying is a red flag. Maybe someone has similar taste or genuinely enjoys what we like – and that’s fine. But there are a few telltale signs that let us know when someone’s admiration has crossed a line:

1. Mimicking Appearance – They start wearing similar clothes, using the same makeup, or even changing their hairstyle to match ours.
2. Picking Up Our Mannerisms – They begin to talk, laugh, or gesture the way we do, almost as if they’re trying to become us.
3. Copying Social Media Style – They start posting similar photos, captions, or using the same hashtags as we do.
4. Adopting Our Hobbies and Interests – They suddenly take up the same hobbies, start following the same trends, or even join the same groups we’re in.
5. Presenting Our Ideas as Their Own – If they start borrowing our creative ideas or opinions, especially in professional or social circles, it’s a clear boundary violation.

If these behaviours start adding up, it’s a sign that their admiration may have turned into something a little too close for comfort. Once we recognise the pattern, we can start deciding on our next steps.

Steps to Handle Copycats Respectfully and Effectively

Here are some ways to handle copycats with grace and self-respect:

1. Strengthen Your Inner Confidence

First, it’s essential to remind ourselves of our worth and originality. When someone’s constantly imitating us, it can feel like they’re encroaching on our identity, but in reality, no one can be us. The more we strengthen our inner confidence, the less threatened we’ll feel.

How to Boost Your Confidence:

• Focus on What Makes You Happy – Prioritise the things that bring you joy, regardless of others.
• Reflect on Your Achievements – Remembering our successes and strengths can ground us in our unique values.
• Celebrate Being Different – Embrace what makes you uniquely “you” – the quirks, the passions, the things only you bring to the table.

2. Set Healthy Boundaries

We can decide to limit how much access they can have to our lives.

Setting Boundaries in Practice:

• Use Privacy Settings on Social Media – If they’re mirroring our online presence, consider setting some parts of our profile to private.
• Be Selective with Personal Details – Be mindful about how much we share, especially if it’s information or ideas we’d like to keep personal.
• Develop a Distinct Personal Style – Lean into elements of style, hobbies, or online content that feel particularly “us” and hard to replicate.

3. Have a Conversation, If Necessary

Sometimes, it’s best to address things directly, especially if this person is someone we care about or see often. Many people don’t realise their behaviour feels invasive, so a kind conversation can sometimes clear the air.

Tips for a Friendly and Open Conversation:

• Use Empathy – Let them know we appreciate the things they admire but also need a bit of breathing room.
• Focus on Our Feelings – Instead of accusing, frame the conversation with “I” statements, like “I feel a bit uncomfortable when you…”
• Encourage Them to Be Themselves – Gently suggest they explore what makes them unique.

4. Protect Your Creative Work

If our copycat situation starts affecting our creative work or career, we may need to take extra steps to protect what we’ve built.

Ways to Safeguard Your Ideas:

• Document Your Work – If we’re worried about someone presenting our ideas as their own, keeping records of our work can be a safeguard.
• Trademark or Copyright – For unique projects, securing intellectual property rights can prevent others from claiming it.
• Share Selectively – Avoid sharing unique ideas too freely, especially if we suspect someone might take them.

5. Embrace Your Uniqueness and Keep Growing

The best way to handle a copycat is to keep being unapologetically ourselves. When we’re focused on growing and evolving, copycats have a hard time keeping up. People tend to gravitate toward authenticity, and over time, others will notice the difference between originality and imitation.

Tips for Owning Your Uniqueness:

• Find a Signature Style – Lean into elements that feel distinctly yours and are hard for anyone else to mimic.
• Keep Experimenting – By continually learning, growing, and evolving, we stay true to ourselves and keep moving forward.
• Surround Yourself with Supportive People – Spend time with those who appreciate us for who we are, not for what they can imitate.

6. Recognise When It’s Becoming Toxic

Sometimes, copycat behaviour can turn toxic or start impacting our mental well-being. If someone’s behaviour has escalated and feels like it’s encroaching on our happiness, it’s essential to address it with more definitive boundaries.

Handling Persistent Copycats:

• Limit Contact – If possible, keep things cordial but create some distance.
• Block and Delete – This is my favourite. If you tried to empower this person to love and embrace themselves and they continue then this may be one of your very few options.
• Document Their Actions if Necessary – If someone’s imitation crosses into professional or personal sabotage, it may be time to document their actions and take additional steps.

Remember: Imitation Isn’t the Real Thing

No one else can do what you do in the way you do it. A copycat might mirror a few traits or trends, but they can’t replicate your essence. You’re the original, and everything that makes you unique is what ultimately sets you apart.

So, if you’re dealing with copycats or someone who’s trying to be a little too much like you, take a deep breath and know that this is just a temporary setback. Keep focusing on what makes you happy, stay true to who you are, and remember – you’re original, darling. Continue to be an inspiration.